Java Mawstah

I've been developing my talent of programming in Java, lately.

As a programmer, I am excellent at thinking through logical problems.  My main weakness is training and experience.  Pretty big weakness, but that's why I'm developing that talent.  I developed a rock, paper, scissors game and began trying to port it as an applet that can be run in a web browser.  As I started, I realized that I was much more interested in developing apps for smart devices.  So, I downloaded the android SDK.  I developed a rock, paper, scissors game for android.

It may not sound like much, mostly because it isn't much, but it was a big learning step.  I've developed my first applications from concept to finish!  And the android app works on my phone.

I hope to make an app that accomplishes what my Google doc talent charting does.  It will require a lot of practice developing apps that can store and recall data from the cloud.  I'm not sure that it'll be my next step in learning to program in java and android SDK, but it's a good goal.  More realistically, I'll go back and get my rock, paper, scissors game to work as an applet in a web browser.

I applied to another job today.  I didn't get the jobs with Illinois CancerCare or Prairie Education and Research Center, and I sent an e-mail asking what I can do to increase my chances in the future.  Both application experiences were excellent, and I've invited them to consider me for future positions.  Illinois CanerCare particularly interested me after going through the interview process.

I'm hoping to do everything possible to get myself into a good job.  So, I'm considering applications to Masters/PhD programs.  It's uncomfortable having as much training as I have and only having a B.S. to show for it.  A B.S. in Neuroscience at BYU is nothing to look down on, and my training in Med School was really valuable.  But I'm not sure that employers know how to use me.  I can do a lot of stuff; I have lots of strengths and talents, and I'm improving and increasing my skills all the time.

Well, wish me luck.  I think I'll set up an appointment with Dr. Headman to discuss my goals and tune-up my career plan.

Epilogue

Captain's log 4:05 -- we just passed into Illinois. We are coming to the end of our trip and I just wanted to make sure I got a blog post done today. We're going to let our kids play with their cousin and have some dinner. Then we're going to do the final 20 minute drive home and drop.  The boys have been so good!

We don't have internet, so I'll post this later.

Captain out.

Halfway through a two day trip

Sarah the boys and I have checked in the motel here in North Platte , Nebraska.  We left her mom's house at 7 am . We stopped for lunch in Rawlins with Sarah's cousin and her cousin's husband.
We had a good time with them and it was refreshing to get out of the car and talk with such nice people. It was nice to get to know them a little better, and their kids were really cool.

We finished our drive today and everyone is pretty tired. We will be leaving early tomorrow for another 10 hours of driving.

This blog is the first that I've done from my cellphone which is kinda fun and exciting.

Wish us luck on the drive tomorrow!

Reworking a life, well spent.

Today is the day when I reboot my blog.  It was never anything very impressive, but I'm making lots of goals, and blogging is one of them.

I've been applying for jobs, and there were a few I was really interested in.  But, getting into the job stream is the hardest part.  Having no job makes getting a job hard.

For anyone that doesn't know, I withdrew from medical school.  It was amazing and I would have loved being a doctor.  However, it was consuming and difficult.  Managing personal life and Medical life was difficult.  After all, I look forward to having more kids, but in med school it was difficult to even be a part of my family.  If I had one thing to say to people who completed medical school, it would be congratulations.  They are some of the smartest and toughest people on Earth.

As for me, it has been an enlightening experience.  I have spent some time coming to grips with all this.  Who am I?  I defined myself by medical school.  What do I truly value?  What am I good at?  What do I love doing?

I really was quite overwhelmed at first.  I dealt with the stress and depression by drowning it out with video games at first.  It was a hard time, and I needed something that I could rely on.  And the rules of video games are pretty concrete.  It was something I was good at and that had a high degree of predictability.  In the meantime, I thought a lot about those questions.  Who am I?  What do I truly value?  What am I good at?  What do I love doing?

To be honest, I'm still working through those questions, but I don't feel nearly as lost as I did.

I began seeing a therapist, Dr. Headman.  He came highly recommended, and I was able to work out financing the visits in a way that was manageable for my wife and me.  After having worked with him, I would also highly recommend him.

He helped me to put many things in perspective.  I stopped hiding from my anxiety behind videogames - I actually play them extremely rarely now.  I looked at what I valued.  I wrote down my priorities.  I faced fears and faced weaknesses.  And Dr. Headman helped me feel good about my progress, and encouraged additional ways of thinking through things.

Well, lets just say that brings us to today.

I have a list on my fridge of what matters most to me:
1) Make my wife happy.
2) Teach my children.
3) Clean up
4) Have a healthy lifestyle
5) Live life now

I feel like this simplifies the majority of what I care about.  I think I may modify the list soon.  A few modifications would include changing "make my wife happy" to "Be the best husband I can be for my wife".  My reasoning is that I can't control my wife's happiness directly (and shouldn't try).  Instead, I can do my best to be there for her as the kind of husband she'll be glad she married.  Of course, as part of being the best husband I can be, I'll try to help her find happiness in her life.

I think I would remove "clean up" as it is only a part of what I truly value.  I'll come back to how I address it a little later.

"Have a healthy lifestyle" remains, but is also addressed doubly by what I will express a bit further on.

And "Live life now" remains.  The thing I'm about to address is encompassed in this concept of doing what I know I must or should or want to... right now.

I've made a list of about 4 dozen "talents" that I want to improve upon.  I try to include everything that I value spending my time on, but just to give an example, some of these items are:

Read
Learn Spanish
Hike
Jog
Clean
Play with my kids
Learn to program in Java
Blog (oh yeah, I'm practicing a talent right now!)

etc.  Like I said, the list is like 4 dozen items long.

I made a Google form in which I can enter the time I've spent on any activity.  The form reports the data to a spreadsheet, and the spreadsheet sums up the data.  I then have a personal website that I can access from any computer or my phone and enter data into the form, and see charts based on the spreadsheet.

It isn't a perfect system, but it is pretty darn good for a start.  It also encourages me to do something rather than feel down or waste time.

Anyhow, I just thought I'd share this rather momentous turning point in my life, and how I've come to be the best person I've probably ever been, but with the least financial prospects I've ever had.

I am excited to get a good job, and plan on being the best employee I possibly can.

Thanks for reading.  Maybe my point in life will inspire something in you, too.